Imagine that you have a fairy godmother (or genie) standing in front of you, asking you what do YOU REALLY want? What would you ask for? What would your life look like if you got everything you wanted? How would you feel if you had everything you ever wanted? Stop and think about that for a minute. We don’t ask for what we want. Instead, we seek things outside of ourselves and are content to give others what they expect of us. We don’t stop and think about what we want for ourselves, and we are too busy watching our days go by while going through the motions. We think about work, society, our friends and family, and what is expected of us, and we simply go from there. When we say we need something, is it really for ourselves or others? We rarely think about what we truly want, we worry more about what we do for others to ensure they are happy, and in the process, we allow ourselves to get left behind. Who is going to look after us if we don’t?
As a coach asking this one question is by far the most insightful and powerful question that has helped my clients reveal how they genuinely want to spend their lives. When I ask my clients, they tell me that they ”want to be happy” or “want to have more money.” The real question is a layer underneath that; what will that give you once you have that? How will you feel with more money? How do you show up when you are happy. What would you do differently?
If you want more money, great, I get it, we all do! What is it that you want that you believe money will give you? Start peeling back at all those layers. Can you have that now, or do you need to have the money first? Often, the answer I hear is that “money will make me happy,” ... so here is the magic answer - BE HAPPY FIRST, and money will come to you! You don’t need anything outside of yourself to be HAPPY!
I explore this with my clients to envision a better life surrounded by those they care about, doing what they love. We begin the process by asking them to describe what their happiness looks like. Do you know what your happiness looks like? Most people don’t. If you don’t know what it looks like, how will you ever get there? We tend to block our happiness, but we need to see what it looks like to get to our joy.
My life has been shaped by asking myself, “what makes ME happy?” at pivotal stages. This question has helped me transform in many ways and is why I am here today. I have made changes in my life over the past ten years, but the last five years have been truly transformational. During my separation, I hit rock bottom and thought life was pretty shitty. Now looking back, It was a hard lesson disguised as a great blessing and a gift. It was the kick in the ass I needed to open my eyes to see my true potential and work towards being my best self for myself and others who I love. I am profoundly grateful for every single experience, as each one helped shape me to get where I am today.
When you let go of things that no longer serve you, new things open up for you. To have amazing things happen, you first need to clear space in your heart and mind. You attract everything you desire by being who you are and by being true to yourself.
Almost three years ago, I ended a toxic relationship. “What do I want?” came up so many times during this relationship. I knew deep down inside that he was not “the one.” Knowing this wasn’t healthy for me, and I knew this since the beginning of the relationship. Unfortunately, I wasn't ready as there were still so many lessons I needed to learn. I was fearful about what others would think—feeling like I needed to see this through to the end this time. I was afraid that I would have to do this alone again. I stayed for the wrong reasons. My fears were taking over.
As I grew to value myself more and more, the answer to that question became more apparent. “Was this the relationship I wanted?” the answer was obvious, NO! Letting go of this relationship finally allowed me to see my true worth and values. This relationship provided me with many lessons, and a very dear one to me was the extremities of holding my standards high and being clear on how to expect to be treated. My experiences have helped me be clear on what I want going forward. I was also fortunate to have been given opportunities to connect with amazing people.
Realizing my true worth also helped me have the courage to enroll in a course to deepen my personal growth with a fantastic mentor coach. Enrolling in this course required a significant commitment from me as it was a year-long course. My intuition knew that this is what I needed in my life. I see it as divine timing - it was exactly what I needed at the precise time! With me being clear of my many unique layers and experiences, I feel fully equipped to support my clients in the best possible way. If you want to work with a coach, It is essential to find and work with a coach who is living and teaching what they preach!
Some of you may already know that I was a Results Coach with Tony Robbins for two years, a role I took seriously and put my all into. The process to become a Results Coach was by far a tough process. Of 1,200 applicants, only 26 only made it!!! That’s only 2% - Crazy, right? So, why didn’t I want this any more once I got there? You see, it was towards the end of 2020 when that question (“What do I really want?) hit me again. This time, the answer was that I wanted to have more time with my boys, family, friends, do amazing in my course, my own private business and serve my clients at the highest level possible! To achieve this, I knew that I needed to let go of something, and I knew in my heart that it had to be that I part ways as a Results Coach. So in February this year, I decided to part ways. But the fear kicked in again, you see, working for his company created security. Also, “what will my family and friends think?” as people knew how hard I worked to get a position in his company as it was a dream of mine, and I don't want to let anyone down either.
Despite the fears, I said YES to what I wanted and not what others would have liked for me as everyone truly wants to keep you safe. It turns out that the universe / God is always listening, and the same week I resigned as a Results Coach. In that same week, I enrolled for my course. I didn't plan it all to happen in the same week, but sometimes we just need to TRUST THE PROCESS! I now have more time to serve my private clients at the highest level; who I LOVE tremendously. I am working on myself with this course and have all the time I want to spend with those I love, including myself! My personal development is in progress, always striving to be better.
There are many lessons here! Trust the process and do what YOU want, not what you think others want you to do. In the end, when you are happy, others that love you will be too!
Sometimes we need to let go of something to open up space to allow something else to come in. As scary as it may be, TRUST your intuition, your inner child, that little voice that shows up, it’s there for a reason, and it always wants to serve you. We must suppress it and move on. We need to listen in and trust it :)
Interestingly enough, this has been a decade of peeling back layers and getting to know the real me. It took me ten years to finally get to this place where I feel like I am rocking it! For those who think that I feel AWESOME every day because I am a coach… well… let me put something into perspective - I am NOT a robot, and I have feelings sooo YES! I cry and have shitty days too, but they don’t drag on like they used to. Emotional mastery is not about not having days where I feel sad or where I get triggered. It’s about being able to navigate through them in a healthy and positive manner.
In ten years I have become a woman who owns herself, and wholly embraces all sides of her. I understand that each day is an opportunity to grow and become better. This is a journey that must be embraced, a journey that has high standards, values and much more...things which I didn’t have in the past and that truly matter!
My journey has had its ups and downs, but boy did I learn from those lows! I separated from an 8-year marriage at the age of 30 and now at almost 40; my entire life is transformed. Bottom line - Don’t give up! Show up every day. Forgive yourself every day, keep going and embrace who you are, ALL OF IT! Don’t be afraid to reach out for support and hold yourself to a higher standard every day. Don’t worry about what others think or expect of you, you know you, you do you! Every day is a true blessing and a new beginning, not to be wasted. Not all days will be good, there will be some low days and days where you doubt ourselves with the “should haves”, that’s okay, don’t dwell on those days, simply enjoy the journey, good days are ahead! Every day we make decisions, some good or bad… fuck it! Lol If you decide to eat that cupcake… you might as well enjoy it! Maybe tomorrow you walk or run faster or longer :)
And always!!! Check-in with yourself…. “What do I want?” and go after it!
I am here to help you find your happiness, connect with me go over where you are now and what you actually want! What's the next level for you?